She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
