I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
