What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
