You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
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