His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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