is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
Randomize
