I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
