He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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