She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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