we have officially lost it.
uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Randomize
