man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Randomize
