Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
