I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Randomize
