your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Randomize
