Sry I called you an 8
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
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