hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
23 People Confess Why They Don’t Talk To Their Best Friend Anymore
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
These 17 Delivery Dudes Suck At Their Jobs But Are Winning At Life
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.