Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
