I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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