Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
My vagina just recognized that song.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Randomize
