i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
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