Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
We are all done wearing pants today
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Randomize