were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
