You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
you will always have a special place in my vag
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i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
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