6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
