My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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