I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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