there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
