she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
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