It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
