So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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