I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
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