Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
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