'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
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