How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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