what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
found the other keg... it's in the tree
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
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