I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
Randomize
