Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
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