And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
How many fucks given?
0.12846
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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