Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
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