My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I can't turn off my feet"
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Randomize
