just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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