doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize
