You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
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This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
I'm having to shit out rocks
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