was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
