Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
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