Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
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