There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
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