I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Randomize
