I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
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