i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
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