I want to make a zoo with you.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize