AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
it was like his penis was on wheels.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
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