my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
There's always time for handjobs
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Brb crying the tears of my youth
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