Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Randomize
