yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize