my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Randomize
