I never want to see another naked old woman again.
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize