when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
Randomize
