he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Randomize
