Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
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