Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
Randomize
